But what if…

Today Kitten said ‘But what if‘ to me. It’s the first time she has managed that. Yes, another first! I received a note in Kitten’s home school book to say that she had had a tricky afternoon. Tomorrow the school have an Artsmark inspector coming in to school and he will be going in to classes and talking to children. Her class practised for the visit this morning in case he comes into her class tomorrow.

That doesn’t sound SO bad does it? But this is a huge problem for my little girl because she is petrified of men. Not scared, not frightened, she is utterly terrified of all men. To be fair to the school this is one thing they generally try to get right as they have witnessed the effects of getting it wrong. The teacher has ensured that the inspector will not be taken into Kitten’s classroom at all. But she could see that Kitten was very worried this afternoon, starting to bite herself again.

So after school I had a chat with Kitten and told her that the man would definitely not come in her room. I reminded her of a few other times when I had promised things wouldn’t happen and they didn’t.

And then she said it ‘Mummy but what if I need to go to the toilet at school and I meet the man in the corridor?’ What was even lovelier was that when we started to talk it through a bit she said ‘Hey Mummy did I just tell you a worry without even knowing it?!’ She was so proud that she forgot herself and climbed on my knee for a HUG!!! I can count the number of times she has climbed on my knee at home on the fingers of one hand and she has never told me a worry before.

I have blogged before about my struggles with acceptance and how I am trying to find joy in the small things we can achieve as a family. But today this small achievement felt very very big and very very joyful.


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